33 Things I Learned Living in New York City

I moved to New York City from Colorado though I was raised by European parents, so my Americanization happened later in life. Precisely the moment I started college in New York City. I have lived in New York enough for it to feel like home and these are the things I’ve learned.

Whether you just moved here, or you’ve been here for a while, you’re quickly going to learn the lay of the land.

1.) New York City is all Smoke & Mirrors

Most movies and television shows set in New York make it look absolutely stunning and its true, to an extent. Central Park is never crowded, streets are free of broken glass, public restrooms are clean and worry free, there are never any lines at restaurants, a taxi is already pulling up to you before you even raise your hand above your head, the subway system is prompt and efficient….said no New Yorker. Ever.

2.) “The City” vs. the Boroughs

Technically the greater New York City area includes the span of Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island, the Bronx, and the island of Manhattan. Ask any native New Yorker or any imported New Yorker, they will always refer to Manhattan as “The City” everywhere else is called by its name (excluding the hipster paradise known as Williamsburg).

3.) NYC Bagels

You’ve never had a bagel (and the fixings) until you’ve eaten one in New York. It is, in my humble opinion, a quintessential New York “thing”, if you will. A bagel and Lox is the Manhattanites breakfast of choice. Just add a small deli coffee for under $5.00 and hop on the train for the longest commute to work.

4.) Career Clichés

It’s quite commonplace in New York to start conversations with random strangers with “What do you do?” You can be rest assured that the most common replies you’ll get is that they are either in finance, fashion, or in school. However, stimulating the conversation can between the two of you, I have heard enough about hedge fund management than can rival most in the field.

5.) It isn’t About You

Life is so fast in New York that it’s very easy to assume that the guy behind the register is glaring at you because you said thank you. It’s not about that. People expect things yesterday and they want things to keep moving. In other words, if you don’t leave immediately after you pick up your order, the bodega you are a patron of doesn’t get a customer because you decided to curtsey while saying thank you that took up an additional five seconds. Keep the line moving.

6.) People Will Love and Hate You

One beautiful thing about New Yorkers is that they are certainly not afraid to tell you what they think, how they feel, how your outfit looks, what you’re doing wrong, etc. Of those people you will find that there will be people who love you and others who will hate you and another who will love and hate you at the same time. Take it with a grain of salt, it’s nothing personal and remember it’s difficult to please everyone.

7.) One is the Loneliest Number

In a city of 8.4 million people you can be standing in the middle of a crowded subway and feel so utterly lonely. Sometimes it can be difficult to approach people considering that most New Yorkers are always on the defensive and eye everyone with suspicion.

8.) You Have 8.4 Million Neighbors

Other times, when you’re not feeling lonely, you feel like you might as well share a bed with your neighbor, hold onto the shoulder of a random commuter in the subway, hand a napkin to a tourist who spilled hot dog juice all over himself, share a taxi with a complete stranger and become friends for life, read the newspaper over the shoulder of the guy waiting for the bus…in Spanish. There are so many people in the City and when you’ve really integrated yourself into the fabric of New York then you’ll find that a lot of its inhabitants will enjoy having a conversation with you. So be brave and start one.

9.) Native New Yorkers Escape The City for the Weekend

I thought this was a load of bologna when someone told me that the real NY’ers leave the City for the weekend in order to avoid the hordes of teeny boppers, New Jerseyan’s wanting to paint the town red, Bachelor/ette parties from Staten Island and Frat boys looking for a good time. There is nothing wrong with these crowds if that’s your thing, but for a true NYC vibe, the best parties happen Thursdays, Friday’s and Sunday’s. There are even “Industry Nights” and there are plenty of them.

10.) Hooking Up is the Dating Style in NYC

In New York, I found that both men and women alike are not really into relationships nor do they want one. A random hook up is all the rage and socially accepted here in the City that Never Sleeps and most people will be shameless and straight forward about it. If this isn’t your cup of tea, it OK-no hurt feelings.

11.) Most Restaurant Servers are A**holes

Competition in the restaurant industry in New York is fierce (actually competition in any industry in NYC is fierce). Almost every server makes you think they have an attitude and are incompetent. Whether this is true or not remains questionable. However, people in this business work ridiculously long hours so can you blame them for being a little crabby?

12.) If They Have a Reason, People Will Take Advantage of You

I sometimes found myself questioning some peoples moral fiber as it seems that if there is an opportunity for someone to make money off of you or take advantage of you, or if they want a favor from you, most people don’t think twice about taking advantage and think it’s perfectly OK. It never ends well.

13.) You Will Love the House You Grew Up In

Technically, this goes to the people who are imported from other states (or even Upstate NY). Coming from Colorado, I always thought we had a small house. Then I moved to New York and missed my real bathroom, I never heard what my neighbors are doing, I had space to walk around my bedroom, and appreciated the backyard I had back in my home-state. Here in New York, you can forget about those lush apartments as those will cost you and arm and a leg (even if you share one with strangers), the apartment most people start out in are basically glorified shoe boxes and not all of them have a real kitchen.

14.) You Learn You Can’t Live with Just Anyone

I’ve had more bad roommates than good ones. What seemed and started out as a great arrangement between two awesome people turned into your worst nightmare. I’ve had my fair share of the crazies, and weirdo’s but I cherish the best roomies. Beware, your future roommate can be a drama queen, hoarder, never-clean-or-pick-up-food-crumbs person, the one that never leaves their room and the bat-shit crazy type. They’re all out there and you might even be one to your roommate.

15.) Money Makes Living in New York Tolerable

In order for you to get by in this city, money makes it better. Sometimes, even the basics aren’t enough and for the rest you need to have some reserves. This city squeezes a lot of your spending money right out of your wallet in order live comfortably.

16.) Money Saved for a Rainy Day

I’ve heard from my mother countless times that I should be saving money. While she was right, I always laughed said “sure Mom. I’ll start saving when I move out of New York”. Saving money in NYC is very difficult, but if you start then it might save your life one day if you get laid off, locked out, or apartment broken into.

17.) There is No Such Thing as a “No Fee” Apartment

The house hunting game in New York is cut throat and nothing makes people’s eyes glaze over than the words “no fee”. Yet, it turns out to be a ploy; the bait on the realtors hook to lure you in with phrases like “no broker fee” only to learn after you sign the lease agreement that, in fact, there was a fee and now you’re stuck in a yearlong lease while you lament forking over the money to pay the broker who found you the cute shoebox you call home.

18.) New Yorkers Know How to Sell Themselves

This is a city where people will judge you based on how you look right now, how you talk right now, how you sit right now, what your attitude is right now, and how you treated the receptionist when you walked in. People take things at face value and it’s important to know how to sell yourself. At some point, everyone has a coworker that makes you wonder how they advanced so quickly with the little industry knowledge you think they have; you have to learn how to talk the talk and walk the walk but it’s not sucking-up. It’s a skilled talent to learn how to sell yourself, so get cracking.

19.) Paying for Convenience

I always admired my mother’s budgeting and how she manages to find the best deals for

next to nothing and it started to rub off on me. Then, I moved to New York and found that while there are many things you can get a better price, the reality is that it’s so far away. After several months of bargain hunting and going the extra distance to obtain this bargain, I finally gave up and started accommodating my needs to what’s near me. Most New Yorker’s will do the same.

20.) NYC is the City of Tolerance

Thanks to generations of immigrants from across the globe, this city has become a huge salad bowl of nationalities, languages, traditions, and overall way of life. I believe this city’s international heritage makes it a great specimen that the U.N. should take notice of if they want world peace. Here in NYC, people tolerate each other not because they have to but because it’s a way of life and they embrace other cultures and their people who ultimately make this city function.

21.) NYC is Everyone’s Catwalk

It’s no news that New York City is a mecca of street style and fashion in general. Every single person in this city owns their own style and they flaunt it on their way to work, getting coffee, being a tourist, you name it. Skinny people are working it, and curvier people are owning it. Here, everyone is a model and the streets are their runways.

22.) The Shock Value Does Wear Off

Of the hundreds of fashionistas in the city, there are also those that want to produce a reaction out of people. That includes the guy wearing a bra, the man in heels and a suit, the woman with the all-natural afro, and the Naked Cowboy among many others. All of them have their own style and all of them want some reaction from people to get noticed. For the first few months I was blown away with the different personalities and sometimes creativity of people but more shocked about my own thoughts. I was thinking “I would never wear something like that…in public”. After a while those thoughts and the shock starting wearing off and I became accustomed to the colorful types of people the live here.

23.) Rules of the “Subway Game”

Everyone who relies on public transportation, namely the metro, learn to play the “I’m not impressed’ game. It consists of arranging your facial features to resemble that of Linda Hunt’s character as Mrs. Munion from the film Yours, Mine and Ours. Also, cleverly avoiding eye contact when the hip hop pole dancers or the fortune teller that slowly walks by everyone as if to make a point become staples of the NYC attitude.

24.) The New York City Shuffle

Every hard working New Yorker has, at least once in their life, partook in a conversation that starts with “There should be two lanes on the sidewalks in Manhattan. One for tourists and one for natives…”. In a city that is constantly moving, you learn to master what I like to call the New York City Shuffle. So as not to lose speed when walking, you learn to duck under outstretched arms and pointy fingers, sidle sideways when squeezing between two bodies approaching from the opposite direction, jumping over rolling backpacks and endless luggage, where to position yourself on the sidewalk to pick up a cab without stopping, side stepping puddles, etc.

25.) The MTA Never Runs on Time

I never understood why the MTA (Metropolitan Transit Authority) supplies it’s riders with ETA’s of the subways when you know you’ve been staring at the digital sign saying “Next Train: 2 minutes” for the last ten minutes and hasn’t changed. Nothing runs on time in this city. If you consider taking the bus, you might as well walk.

26.) You Learn to Hate the Seasons

The summers are hot, sticky and the stench of hot garbage is everywhere. Winters are rainy, the sun rarely comes out, and the wind chills you to the bone. You learn to love your air conditioner and marshmallow-like down parka and that beanie you thought you’d never wear is one winter accessory you never leave home without. Altogether, dressing yourself becomes a talent and skill in itself when you face 80 degrees indoors and quickly shifts to 0 on the streets. Word to the wise, 34th Street on the Yellow and Orange lines to Herald Square is a sauna trap in the summer.

27.) NYC Still has Fashion Violators

Let’s be honest here, most people would whole heartedly agree that pleated suit pants are a fashion abomination to men everywhere. Yes, trends tend to repeat over time but this isn’t one that should EVER be revived. From personal observation, most Wall Streeters tend to favor said pleated pants and in addition they are about three feet too long and look just as comical as JNCo jeans (remember those bad boys?). They should just commit to harem pants at this point.

28.) People Ignore the Walk Signal

It’s unlikely you’ll get arrested or fined for J walking in Manhattan, because I think the police have better things to worry about but don’t take my word for it. It’s quite common to see people a plenty to be crossing the street when the signal is red, weaving between cars stopped on a red light, diagonally cutting across the street or worse, the intersection and yes, I did cross the streets outside the designated, marked and signaled walkways at times as well, but technically it is illegal to do so.

29.) If the Express Train is Crowded, the Local will NEVER be Faster

I’ve learned this the hard way several times. Rush hour is an inevitable part of life in New York City and crowded trains are everyone’s bane of existence. You’re standing on the platform, exhausted after a 10 or 12 hour long day at work and the last thing you want is to see is a crowded express train and be wedged in between two behemoths of the financial world with their crisp white shirts tucked into their pleated baggy suit pants and smelling their lunch on their breath because your that close. But deep down you know that taking the express can of sardines is much more time efficient than the welcoming, local train with places to sit comfortably.

30.) You Learn to Loath Time Warner Cable

Thanks to TWC, they have monopolized the cable and internet grid work across the NYC metro area. For the many times I’ve been on hold for more than an hour only to get a person connecting me to the first person I spoke to because they were clueless will only make you angrier. For the many times I had to go to the TWC service offices that were nowhere in a convenient train-connecting area with the most ridiculous business hours. For the many times the technicians could not solve my router issues. We all have our fair share of TWC stories to go around a camp fire.

31.) The Empty Subway Car is Empty for a Reason

This has been written and advised on blogs, Facebook pages, and text messages everywhere. Sometimes, if it’s bizarre enough, it ends up on the nightly news and tomorrow’s newspaper. Let’s just leave it at that.

32.) Learn the Lamppost System in Central Park

Otherwise you will get lost and it’s usually when your phone is low on battery and you have no GPS signal anyways and you start panicking that the park suddenly became the Hunger Games.

33.) Times Square is Every New Yorkers Hell on Earth

Checking out Times Square once in your life is all you need. Going back there makes your stomach curl with anxiety and it becomes near impossible to control your facial features when you hear the words “it’s in Times Square”. I was unfortunate enough to work in an office building in Times Square (and I think they saved on their electricity bill thanks to the neons outside) but the worst is when it’s New Year’s Eve when people start flocking to the intersection before noon and you’re stuck at work until at least 4:00pm and start worrying how to weave through the crowd to get home.

Have you experienced something totally “New York”? I’d love to hear your encounters in the comments!